Monday, June 29, 2009

Making Your Home Sing : Sibling Rivalry

Making your home sing Mondays

How do I make my home sing today? As a Stay At Home Mom to my 2 kids who are under 6 years old, my days most of the time are a riot. One minute, the 2 are like best friends and the next, they are shouting at each other and my little boy hits his big sister. It can get really tough. They fight about toys, space or attention! I know that this is a phase that kids go through, but I like them to learn from this phase. Sometimes, I let them "fight" it out but most of the time, I step in before it gets physical. My 2 year old still doesnt understand "sharing" so it can be quite hard. I have to be consistent and impartial in dealing with both of them. I try to cuddle my 2 year old when he is getting unreasonable and distract him. While my 5 year old, I talk with her. Give her other options.

I try to read books on parenting, good websites and the Bible to get more insights as to how I can deal with sibling rivalry. I know that God has tasked me to be the mom to these 2 kids and I have to do my job as a mother to train these children the way God wants me to.

Prov 22:6 Train a child in the way he should go,
and when he is old he will not turn from it.


Seiko said...

I have five & it's very common for my girls that they had fight too like yours.They sometimes swing back and forth between adoring and detesting one other.But I understand that often, sibling rivalry starts even before the second child is born, and continues as the kids grow and compete for everything from toys to attention. As kids reach different stages of development, their evolving needs can significantly affect how they relate to one another.

Alicia The Snowflake said...

I have an only child. So I don't have this issue. But I do remember it being an issue growing up with 3 sisters. We were always fighting. I pray that this does get easier for you. And may God give you the grace to know how to handle it. Hope you have a great Monday!

More Than Words said...

Yupp..I can totally relate!

What I've learned from those parenting classes is that it's a love of "self." We think "our" wants are greater than anyone elses, therefore, the selfishness or the "I'm first" attitude. It all comes down to the heart issue! If our hearts are right, then it won't matter if you want to play with the toy. No biggie..I'll play with it when you're done. And vice versa!

momstheword said...

My kids are four years apart and my youngest didn't like to share at that age either.

I didn't like to allow my kids to fight (work) it out at that age, as what usually happens is what you said, the younger hits the older or the older kid gives in, thus giving the younger one his way and reinforcing his behavior.

So I usually did what you do and distract the younger one as best I could. Of course, if he hit his brother or was throwing a fit he was put in timeout first, as a discipline.

My kids usually got along pretty well, I think because of the four year age difference. There weren't many fights or sibling rivalry.

momstheword said...

Forgot to add thank you for joining us today for MYHSM meme. Love the verse. To often we forget that we are to train our children, not just let them figure it out on their own!

Erin said...

Wow! What a struggle you have...I have three children: 18, 13, and 10. I decided the letting them fight it out wasn't working and I began to intervene. I stopped everything and I talked to my kids as if they truly understood. I always pointed out something positive each child had been doing and something negative each child had been doing. The first two fought different than the second didn't blow over like the second two do. The hurts ran deeper and it was a struggle for me to watch. But, like you pointed out, it was my job to train them. You'll do fine because you're already trying so hard. Happy Monday!

Denise said...

Such a great post.